I admit it -- I used to be a mega-store elitist snob. I scoffed at people who shopped at "Tar-zhay" and swore that someday, I would exercise my right to NEVER register there in the event of wedding or childbirth. Kohl's? Bah. Meijer? Only if I need something at 2 a.m. Wal-Mart? Spawn of the devil.
Oh, how times have changed. Well, mostly. I still run screaming from Wal-Mart and think I have actually only purchased something there in the case of a dire swimsuit and sunscreen emergency on a business trip. Just walking through the store makes me feel icky. Blegh.
However, I have completely succumbed to the black hole of irresponsible, throw-away shopping that is TARGET. In conducting a recent very scientific poll of exactly 3 of my friends, I have determined that it is physically impossible for a woman to go into Target and emerge with only the item or items she originally entered the store to buy.
I went to Target last night with the intention of buying plates, napkins and a gift for an upcoming shower I am hosting (by the way, how did ANYONE get married or have children before the Target gift registry?!? I adore the friend I am hosting the shower for in part because she actually registered for all of "The Simpsons" seasons on DVD -- and where else can you get "The Simpsons," picture frames, trash cans, cookware and hemorrhoid medication all in one place?? Genius). I somehow walked out holding an $85 receipt.
What the hell jumped in my cart?!? I had Molly with me and by the end, she was no longer feeling the love for Tar-zhay (and no one in the store was feeling the love for her ear-piercing howls and goldfish cracker hurling) so maybe in my efforts to speed through the store I didn't notice that she pulled extra items into my cart.
I have no idea how this happens but it happens all the time. I stride purposefully over to the greeting card section and do my best to shield my wandering eyes as I hurry back to the checkout counter with my ONE SINGLE $2.29 ITEM IN HAND when all of a sudd...OOOOO! SHINY THINGS!!!!
Ok, I'll just buy this one funky photo frame. I mean, I could always give it as a gift for Christm...OOOOO! STRIPEY FABRIC THINGS!!!!
Well hey, I've been meaning to replace some of my bath towels. And these are ON SALE so I mean really, I'm saving money! Wait...now the shower curtain won't match. I better go check out the bath aisl...OOOOO! PINK FUZZY WALLETS!!!!
I mean, it goes on and on. It's a vortex from which no woman with a functioning credit card can hope to escape. So should you be the person on my Christmas list who gets a lime green Hello Kitty change purse and a pair of Isaac Mizrahi maternity pants...well, just know I had no choice. They jumped into my cart.
17 comments:
That's me no matter what store I'm in. I can't seem to walk out of any retail store without extras jumping in my basket, cart, arms...
Yesterday I went to the drug store for one thing...1 thing that was $3.50. I walked out with 3 things and spent $17.50. (But in my defense, one of those items was a Yankee Candle for 1/2 price...such a good Christmas gift...so I "had to have it.") Ugh.
Oh, and one more thing---say it ain't so!!! You hate Les Mis??? NOOOOOOOOO!!!
OMG, I'm just gearing up for a trip to Target! Dh and I used to joke that I couldn't go there without spending $100. It helps to be on a budget now, but that is one insidious store!
Tess
OMG!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHINEY THINGS! I can so relate...I call Costco the $100 store. I was actually paying $45 a year to spend $50 more every week then I really needed by shopping at the $100 store. I quit my membership. I stay out of Target. Wal-Mart gets me because I buy diapers there and everything is $2.88...how much harm can a bunch of $2.88 items do?? A LOT!
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First the above is from Connor.
My neighbor works at Target...I'm not really sure how I know she is my neighbor because I only ever see her AT Target.
Secondly, the products must think of cart jumping as a sport. Why do they always choose MY cart? Don't my sons do a good enough job putting things in my cart?!
Did C really register for Simpsons DVDS??? I'll have you know I shopped for her gift at Williams Sonoma (snooty sniff!)
All joking aside, I love Target but it's sooo dangerous. I stay away from Walmart and will drive 30 miles to go to Costco even tho' Sam's is right down the road. My own little protest.
An update on my Target trip: I only spent $82. :)
Target seems to be making an effort to attract upscale shoppers--EVERY ad in this week's New Yorker is for Target. It's kind of annoying, but it obviously didn't prevent me from shopping there.
Tess
I am on a twelve-step Target program. That is, I have found that a certain parking spot is always open for me, and it is only 12 steps from the door. It makes me so happy that I purposely buy more than I came in for. Target is right up there with Coca-Cola for me right now.
LOVE IT!!! I am cracking up. What is it with us, why can't we resist the temptations of gadgets?? I am SO the stripey and polkadotty thing girl...
Oh, and I just had to add---I'm so NOT a pink fuzzy wallet girl, and yet things like that seem to be irresistable in Target. I wonder if they aerosolize the same ingredient that Dunkin Donuts must put in their coffee... :)
Can not get out of that place for under $100.00 EVERY single time!! In fact, we're going there this a.m. Pray for me!
I seriously think they pipe phermones in the Target aisles. Why else would someone like me who hates to shop (yes, hate it) go to Target once a week and apend $100? Okay, lately, it's been less.
I was just there last night to only get deodorant and a shower gift. Got the gift, and super cheap cereal, some other items, forgot the deodarant.
So today, I have to go back to get said deordorant, and wrapping paper for the gift, and it won't be my fault if DVDs jump unto my hands, or if home decore is on super-sale.
Too funny that it has such a draw to us.
I LOVE Target!!! i have to limit my trips there. i am glad to know i'm not alone in my target luv.
Update on my trip. I only spent $56.00 & got ONLY the things I went in for.
My secret? Shopping at 5:00 p.m. with both kids & knowing my hubby got home early today (of course!) and was home waiting on us.
ROFLMBFAO...again!!
Sorry I have been absent, tho not sure if you even missed me...
I am the proud owner of 2..YES...2 purses that are completely NOT my style, but were on clearance at Target...and I have used BOTH of them, so the fragance-y stuff mjst seep into certain porous fabrics and make you actually USE the goofy things you buy there!!
Angel
I love Target! But I'm with you, I hate Wal-Mart and only go there when I absolutely have to. I stopped by today and I ran out as quickly as I could.
Mel,
I loved your Target junkie moments ("stripey fabric things"). I consider myself immune to all shopping...but it's true, I get sucked under there too. Just the other day I felt compelled to buy a clock that looks like a cyclops and a glass bowl to put candy in (both for my office) that inexplicably had a sticker on it saying "Under no circumstances should this be used for food- it will POISON the food." Of course I immediately dumped candy in it and set it up in my office...
Lorraine
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