The little monster is on vacation for a few days at my parents' house in Cleveland. I went home this weekend and Molly and I went to visit a friend; I came back yesterday and Molly will continue to hang out with grandma and grandpa for a few more days. So far during her short visit, she has decided to go on the potty ALL THE TIME (today at least) - two pees and a poop by nap time and the SAME DIAPER ALL MORNING!!! Of course, all this excretory excitement had to come when they were 1) at the mall and 2) at a restaurant. The child has impeccable timing. But whatever works. She had to call both daddy and I at work to tell us alllll about it so I pity my coworkers who have to listen to me exclaiming "REALLY??? How MUCH poopy??? That's SO EXCITING HONEY!!!!"

She also sat on Santa'a lap, rode the Christmas train at the mall, and learned how to walk up steps backward. All today. She helped grandma and grandpa decorate their Christmas tree by putting about 45 ornaments on two low hanging branches, all in a very concentrated mass but dammit she DID IT HERSELF, she told me about 100 times this weekend. Too funny.

I am still pregnant, and crabby. I've been having some braxton hicks contractions, I think - and for the non mommy readers out there, those are very annoying little "fake" or "practice" contractions wherein your uterus suddenly turns into the consistency of titanium and you feel like it's having steel-coated seizures. You know what? I had plenty of REAL contractions last time. I don't need any damn practice. GO AWAY stupid contractions. You are freaking me out. I drink enough water to fill a fish tank already, so it shouldn't be a sign of dehydration. We are just a few weeks away from finding out what the little alien is sporting genitalia wise, so that I know if I should curse "him" or "her" for making my existence miserable, my bladder depressed, my sleep schedule disastrous and my face the consistency of a land mine that has just been run over by obese elephants wearing cowboy spurs.

Argh.