Tuesday, December 27, 2005

#69 is so annoying it gets its own post

The 69th most annoying thing about the holidays, that is - get your mind out of the gutter!!!

DAMN TO HELL the sadistic people who designed the packaging on Fisher Price/Playskool toys. Seriously, these $19.99 toys are more secure than the Hope diamond. Fisher Price has this line of toys called "Little People" -- I'm not sure how the PC Patrol lets them get away with that one, considering that kids will grow up thinking that anyone who is referred to as a "little person" is a 2-inch plastic molded thing with its legs fused together and a big hole in its bottom.

But anyway, there are all kinds of Little People playsets - circus, zoo train, airport, school, playground, maximum security prison compound, etc. etc. We got Molly a few more of these for Christmas, as they are currently her favorite toys in the world. As she opened up the Little People zoo train present, her eyes lit up and she immediately wanted it "opa. OPA!!!" (not Greek flaming cheese, but "open" in Molly-ese). So, Mommy rips open the outer box to find...another box. A box to which every single piece of the 14 piece set is securely anchored by way of titanium-reinforced steel twist-ties, which are then scotch-taped over just in case the 45 twists in each steel tie come undone. Yes, apparently scotch tape is the end-all product in security.

The zoo train is secured to the packaging in multiple locations. The train wheels are separately secured to each other so they don't spin. The little animals on the train are separately SEPARATELY secured, with twist ties around their bodies and I am not kidding you, I think even through their eye sockets.

What, exactly, are the engineering gods at the toy company trying to prevent here? Individual pieces somehow jumping out of the plastic-encased packaging? Thieves who only want to steal the random toy giraffe here and there? Wow, gee, I guess now they'd steal THE WHOLE PACKAGE, because it's easier to diffuse a bomb than get any pieces out of this toy set. Apparently, also, no one at the toy company has children or they would understand the severe danger created for parents who are incapable of ripping through the steel twist-ties and protective plastic, cardboard and omnipresent scotch tape fast enough for the satisfaction of a very impatient toddler who wants to start jamming those cute little animals in her mouth and running the doggy over with the train NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6 comments:

Kellee said...

LMAO!!! WTF is up with this????? It is such a pet peeve of mine!

We got the Little People (who are in & of themselves so PC it's not even funny!) house. I just handed it over to my cousin who has no kids & said, "Here big guy, let's see you crack this security code." He eventually got it all open but not without a knife & scissors. And after that, there were like 10 million stickers that had to be put in it. All the while Camryn is standing their screaming her little head off to see the "BABY! BABY! BABY!"

I'd like to sit the marketing geniuses of Fisher Price down & have them present one of their secured products to an almost 2 year old & say, "GO! Get this package open before this child has a coronary." I bet we'd see a change in the packaging then!

Natalie said...

Mel, have i told you lately that I love you?

Well I do.

I looooovvve you. Love. You.

Shekky said...

Now that's some seriously funny $h!t.

Counting_Blessings said...

Wholeheartedly laughing and nodding in agreement !! We had my 20 m/o son and 2 1/2 old nephew opening presents together on Christmas day and the frustration over those stupid wire ties was incredible!

Watty said...

I hate those stupid wires too...I now go to dd's toys toting a nice sharp pair of scissors to cut those suckers out (where I can) now! HATE THEM! I think there's a couple still on my floor from Christmas somewhere....

Tonya said...

Hilarious!!!

Just wait until she wants Barbies! They are just as bad.

We use wirecutters. They work well. Don't bother with the back of the box just slip those bad boys around the side of the object in the front and snip the darn wire twisty.

On several occasionsl I have stated that I think those packaging people should be shot.