Day 17. Or 18. Or somethingteen.

Day 18 I think. I really felt like crap today, which is convenient because I already LOOK like crap so it's nice to be consistent. Went on my biweekly field trip to the doctor today - incredibly uneventful. Measuring right on schedule, gained back one of the three or so pounds I lost (how, I have no idea. We are having food wars in this house - me against everyone else. I AM NOT HUNGRY and eating and then laying down for 23 hours makes me SICK. I digress). We are slated to welcome this little monster 3 weeks from Thursday. Repeat after me - YIKES.

As I mentioned, Dan is still on a mission to have me gain at least a pound a DAY at this point. He forced me to eat a double Wendy's burger tonight, finish ALL my fries AND eat most of a Frosty (minus the portion that Molly used to paint on her placemat with, using a french fry as her brush of choice and then concerned about why I wouldn't eat her soggy french fry of pollution when she was done. BLEGH!!!). Too bad Tums don't have calories - I eat about 10 a day. If you have never experienced the joy of heartburn or acid reflux, chug some jagermeister or goldschlager FAST for the burning sensation in your chest, then stand on your head to make some of it come back up, then belch uncontrollably for an hour, then choke, then gag up your food JUST prior to the point of puking yet where you can still taste the nastiness in your mouth...then repeat all day long. IT'S AWESOME.

I have been diligently working on my NCAA tourney research tonight. I did 5 brackets on espn.com, two in my "friend pool" at $10 each, and will do one at cnnsi.com as well. I have to pick ND to win it all in at least one pool (albeit one I am not putting my own money behind. I'm not that dumb).

Note to fiction fans, if you have the chance to read "A Private Hotel for Gentle Ladies," save your brain cells for something more deserving like American Idol or anything on MTV. Wow, it SUCKED. And that is as high-brow of a literary assessment as it deserves.