Actually still alive

All of us are, that is. I don't know how - I am cursing EVERY person I've ever met with more than one child who didn't forewarn us that two children is NOT "just like one, only a little extra time needed to get out the door!" Oh my Lord, it is just like trying to get a herd of elephants to board a plane backwards while singing "Copacabana." IN-FREAKING-POSSIBLE!!!!

The baby is cute and all, but she would be a hell of a lot cuter if she learned to sleep for more than 3-4 hours at a stretch. So far she is very attached to her 3 am wakeup routine and I am getting very attached to the bags under my eyes that are now the size of a Louis Vuitton garment bag.

Molly just turned 3-going-on-14. I need to start chronicling some of her conversations and observations - I seriously wonder what she will be saying when she is, like, eight years old.

Example: My sister in law was involved in a car accident - no injuries, other than to the car - but told Molly about how someone "bumped" her car and that's why she was driving an unfamiliar loaner.

The next day, Molly was GRILLING me on the intricacies of the legal system - "Mommy, why that man bumped Aunt Kari's car? Was he not paying attention? Why not? What was he doing that he wasn't paying attention? Was he reading a book like that lady was that time we were at the green light and she didn't go and you honked your horn and said 'HEY, GO!!!!' Why a policeman came and yelled at that man who bumped Aunt Kari's car? Did he say 'sorry?' Mommy, if your car gets bumped a POLICEMAN comes and brings you a NEW CAR from the CAR STORE!!!!!!"

Seriously. Verbatim.

It is hard to discipline her because most of the time you just want to laugh. She is too smart to pull reverse psychology on...the other day I threatened to give her chicken nuggets (yes that is STILL the only meat product she will consume, save for pepperoni, which hardly counts as meat since you don't know what pig parts get squished and smashed to put in that particular delicacy) to her friend to eat if she wouldn't finish them. She goes "OK Mommy, Mairin can eat them. See? I'm doing a GREAT JOB sharing!!! Now can I have some more chips?"

Sigh.