Since I only got through #s 100 down to 69 with my things I hate about winter rant, I guess I will just pick up where I left off and start in on the remaining 68 things that I hate...I'll start with spring.
#68. Wet worm smell after rain.
#67. STUPID MUDDY DOG FEET
#66. STUPID MUDDY YARD THAT CAUSES STUPID MUDDY DOG FEET
#65. Bees start coming out of hiding. I HATE BEES.
#64. Cleaning up recently unfrozen dog poop piles that have been fermenting on the lawn since October and which Molly thinks would be GREAT fun to pick up and throw for the dog to chase
#63. Spring cleaning. I tend to clean in giant spurts of energy - like, every 4 months or so I will windex a mirror in the bathroom -- then, phew, have to rest. I just cleaned out our garage all by myself and found 89% of the surfaces in the garage covered in either mouse poop, spilled birdseed, stray pieces of the pink insulation stuff or dirt. Yum.
#62. Trying on bathing suits.
#61. Trying on ANYTHING that involves showing skin.
#60. Having to actually maintain your toenails now that your feet are seeing the light of day again, after enjoying many months of poking your bed mate with nasty sharp little uneven toenails and then rubbing your nasty pale unshaven legs on them.
#59. Actually having to shave your legs higher than your anklebone.
#58. I STILL HATE BEES. Especially buzzing around my beer at Tiger games.
#57. Realizing that the Tigers do, indeed, still suck.
#56. Realizing that you paid $1300 in season tickets to once again see the Tigers suck 21 times in person.
#55. Realizing how many cute purses you could have bought for $1300
#54-45. ROAD CONSTRUCTION EVERYWHERE I POSSIBLY NEED TO GO IN MICHIGAN
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
There, I fixed the spacing problem.
All I had to do was completely change the look of the whole blog. Oh well.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
HERE. I updated.
Now all six of my remaining readers (Curt, Kathy, Rachel, Erin, possibly Megan if she's really bored in a meeting, and maybe my sister in law) can have proof that I do still exist in cyberspace.
I recently did some online poll thing where it tells you what animal you will be reincarnated as in your next life. I think I was actually a cat -- which I guess means I am bored with humanity, selfish, reclusive, arrogant and deathly allergic to myself. Yep, that pretty much sums me up. I think, though, that I more accurately will be reincarnated as an octopus as payback for the fact that I spend all of my waking hours and many of my sleeping ones multitasking like a freak. My coworker told me the other day, "Wow, I really wish I did as much 'stuff' as you did. But then I think -- wow. Just HEARING about your life makes me tired."
It makes me tired and cranky and overcommitted and overstressed and guilty. Right now in addition to full time work (well, "full time" -- ha ha, considering how often I am online googling things that I saw the night before on Discovery Health channel or debating whether or not Molly REALLY needs that $84 pair of baby Ralph Lauren capris...by the way, NO.), I am performing in "A Chorus Line" -- which I have to tell you is the WORST show for a woman's self esteem EVER. Just the thought of standing in front of hundreds of people in a leotard makes me (ALMOST) want to vomit. In my brain, the entire show will be ignored by everyone as they stare intently at my midsection and say in their heads (or out loud, if they're really rude) "tsk tsk, what a NASTY looking roll of fat from that poor woman's C-section! And look! Her left thigh seems to be growing fatter as we sit here!!!" Not to mention that 3/4 of the women in the cast are a) under 20 and b) the size of my arm. You got us couple-a mommas up there feeling like dancing water buffalos next to this army of no-inner-organ, rib-cage removed pixies. BLEGGGGH.
So, show ends April 23. April 25 I leave at 7 am for Charlotte for 4 days for work. I also recently agreed to serve on the communications committee for the March of Dimes, which requires 7:30 am monthly meetings, and am on the board of the theater group that is performing Chorus Line which means being involved with fundrasing/begging, events, marketing, getting the word out to local media, etc.
With my beloved group of online mommy friends (many of whom I recently met in real life!!! I will have to get into that later. See? promise of at least one more post), I am doing two "gift exchanges" and "secret mommy" relationships. I have Molly's 2nd birthday coming up -- which I vowed to "scale WAY back" from last year's 60 person gala -- right now I am at 42 and counting. My mother in law's birthday is this Sunday; and oh yeah, yours truly celebrates her Baskin Robbins birthday next Thursday on opening night of the show (get it? Baskin Robbins? 31-derful? ha ha ha. sigh. It should be 31-der why I feel like ass all the time and have wrinkles and saggy parts -- oh yeah, I'm OLD. Guess that won't fit neatly on those little pink plastic taste spoons though).
I don't expect sympathy from anyone -- I bring this on myself and have always been involved in a million and a half things. But what gets to me is that oh yeah -- wake up , captain selfish -- you have this little person named Molly who might, perhaps, like to see her mother at some point. Daddy is also in school, a schedule which is about to get a LOT worse before it gets better, so in theory, one or the other of us is always a single parent and more often than THAT, Molly is shuffled around between her very patient/willing grandparents and her aunt who indulge my silly penchant for theater and Daddy's penchant for wanting to make a lot of money to support Mommy's ridiculous spending on things like, oh, CARPET that isn't the color of ground salmon with giant spills all over it (including the Kathy memorial wine stain); FURNITURE that isn't faded, torn, puked on, shedded on, deflated and deformed; and oh yeah, a $10 GARBAGE CAN THAT DOESN'T HAVE A GAPING HOLE IN THE SIDE OF IT!!!!!! (Dan's response -- "I can't believe you're throwing that out. We can PATCH it you know.")
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Anyway, if you've been wondering where I've been and what I've been doing, there you have it. Talk to you all in 2007.
I recently did some online poll thing where it tells you what animal you will be reincarnated as in your next life. I think I was actually a cat -- which I guess means I am bored with humanity, selfish, reclusive, arrogant and deathly allergic to myself. Yep, that pretty much sums me up. I think, though, that I more accurately will be reincarnated as an octopus as payback for the fact that I spend all of my waking hours and many of my sleeping ones multitasking like a freak. My coworker told me the other day, "Wow, I really wish I did as much 'stuff' as you did. But then I think -- wow. Just HEARING about your life makes me tired."
It makes me tired and cranky and overcommitted and overstressed and guilty. Right now in addition to full time work (well, "full time" -- ha ha, considering how often I am online googling things that I saw the night before on Discovery Health channel or debating whether or not Molly REALLY needs that $84 pair of baby Ralph Lauren capris...by the way, NO.), I am performing in "A Chorus Line" -- which I have to tell you is the WORST show for a woman's self esteem EVER. Just the thought of standing in front of hundreds of people in a leotard makes me (ALMOST) want to vomit. In my brain, the entire show will be ignored by everyone as they stare intently at my midsection and say in their heads (or out loud, if they're really rude) "tsk tsk, what a NASTY looking roll of fat from that poor woman's C-section! And look! Her left thigh seems to be growing fatter as we sit here!!!" Not to mention that 3/4 of the women in the cast are a) under 20 and b) the size of my arm. You got us couple-a mommas up there feeling like dancing water buffalos next to this army of no-inner-organ, rib-cage removed pixies. BLEGGGGH.
So, show ends April 23. April 25 I leave at 7 am for Charlotte for 4 days for work. I also recently agreed to serve on the communications committee for the March of Dimes, which requires 7:30 am monthly meetings, and am on the board of the theater group that is performing Chorus Line which means being involved with fundrasing/begging, events, marketing, getting the word out to local media, etc.
With my beloved group of online mommy friends (many of whom I recently met in real life!!! I will have to get into that later. See? promise of at least one more post), I am doing two "gift exchanges" and "secret mommy" relationships. I have Molly's 2nd birthday coming up -- which I vowed to "scale WAY back" from last year's 60 person gala -- right now I am at 42 and counting. My mother in law's birthday is this Sunday; and oh yeah, yours truly celebrates her Baskin Robbins birthday next Thursday on opening night of the show (get it? Baskin Robbins? 31-derful? ha ha ha. sigh. It should be 31-der why I feel like ass all the time and have wrinkles and saggy parts -- oh yeah, I'm OLD. Guess that won't fit neatly on those little pink plastic taste spoons though).
I don't expect sympathy from anyone -- I bring this on myself and have always been involved in a million and a half things. But what gets to me is that oh yeah -- wake up , captain selfish -- you have this little person named Molly who might, perhaps, like to see her mother at some point. Daddy is also in school, a schedule which is about to get a LOT worse before it gets better, so in theory, one or the other of us is always a single parent and more often than THAT, Molly is shuffled around between her very patient/willing grandparents and her aunt who indulge my silly penchant for theater and Daddy's penchant for wanting to make a lot of money to support Mommy's ridiculous spending on things like, oh, CARPET that isn't the color of ground salmon with giant spills all over it (including the Kathy memorial wine stain); FURNITURE that isn't faded, torn, puked on, shedded on, deflated and deformed; and oh yeah, a $10 GARBAGE CAN THAT DOESN'T HAVE A GAPING HOLE IN THE SIDE OF IT!!!!!! (Dan's response -- "I can't believe you're throwing that out. We can PATCH it you know.")
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Anyway, if you've been wondering where I've been and what I've been doing, there you have it. Talk to you all in 2007.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
