The stuff that comes out of this child's mouth is incredible. Just a few random tidbits from the last few weeks that I want to save for posterity:
Murphy did one of his bark-at-a-speck-of-air routines the other day, near the front door, and Molly says very exasperatedly "Mommy, why does Murphy have to BARK? Why can't he just say 'pleeeease put me outside??'"
If I had the answer to making dogs talk I would be a rich mommy.
Speaking of talking dogs, and cats, her new movie obsession is the very unfortunate Disney mess called "Oliver & Company," loosely and badly based, sort of, on the Oliver Twist story. It's set in New York City in the late 80s and stars a lot of people who probably wish they could erase this particular animated gem from their IMDB database. Anyway, I hadn't seen it in many years so I sat down to watch it with Molly the other night for the first time. The opening scene shows a very clear shot of the Twin Towers. I commented, more to Dan, "wow, that's sad." and Molly said "What's sad?" I said "those buildings aren't there anymore. They got knocked down by some very bad people." I didn't think she was paying much attention to me, being distracted by singing/dancing animals and all. Last night, though, she was watching this AGAIN for like the 4th time this week and she goes "Look, Mommy, there's those towers that fell down because the bad people were mean and knocked them over." Simple and deep at the same time.
We often still have to remind Molly to go potty, as she would rather playandplayandplayandplayand runaroundlikeamaniacfromthemomentshewakesuptilthemomentshefallsasleepmid-run. The other day I asked her for the 1000th time "Molly, do you need to go potty?" and she stops and looks at me and YELLS "NO I DO NOT HAVE TO GO POTTY!!! I WANT TO WAIT VERY PATIENTLY AND I WILL TELL YOU WHEN IT'S TIME!!!!!!!!!! I AM WAITING PATIENTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She also bellowed at us the other day "WOULD YOU BE QUIET MOMMY!!!! IT IS TOOOOOO LOUD AND I CAN'T HEEEEEEEAR THE TEEEEE VEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" The irony is spectacular.
We are working hard to curb her use of unpleasant sayings -- like, we have had to stop calling the stupid dog "Hey, Stupid Dog"...and we have definitely had to watch our use of telling even Murphy to shut up. Dan explained to her that "shut up is something only DADDIES can say." Which is just freaking great, because if I slip and say it to the dog, she turns into Captain Stoolpigeon and YELLS to Dan "MOMMY SAID SHUT UP!!!" and then chastizes me with "MOMMY! Shutup is only DADDY's word." She reprimands the TV if she hears it on there too. "*tsk* We DON'T say SHUT UP!!!!!" Except for the four thousand times a day that she says it as she reminds us that we aren't allowed to say it.
We have totally been losing the battle to get her to bed before 10 pm lately. We made the mistake of pointing out fireflies and catching them with her, and now she does NOT buy that 9 pm is bedtime because, as she reminded me, "Mommy, I can still see BLUE SKY at 9 o clock. It's not even dark enough for FIREFLIES yet. It is NOT time for bed until I can see the FIREFLIES." Umm....well, I can't really argue with that. You CAN still see blue sky at 9 pm. Dammit. By this logic she will have to put herself to bed at 6:30 in January, right??
She has recently discovered that she LOVES balsamic vinegar after tasting some off of one of my salads. Not only does she regularly eat lettuce now, bathed in vinegar, she also asks "Mommy can I have some more vig-e-ner to put on my _______?" You name it - applesauce, chicken, green beans, bread...it all gets used now as a vehicle to transport the vig-e-ner into her mouth. Weird, weird kid. Doesn't eat mac and cheese or hotdogs or any meat on earth that is not breaded chicken in nugget form, but she will eat salad with balsamic vinegar.
One last one...this was an actual conversation we had last week while I was pushing her on her swingset. I did not prompt any of this with prior questions. I also didn't get a chance to get a word in edgewise for about 20 minutes.
Molly: "Mommy, remember when we were at Uncle Frank's house (the day before) and Ellie the cat threw up? Why she threw up? Remember when Murphy threw up in the fam-blee room and it was GROSS? And it was water, and dog food, and grass...and dogs don't EAT grass,right? because it makes them sick and then they throw up like this (makes gagging noise) and you have to clean it up wif paper towels and it's GROSS. Did Ellie the cat eat grass? She threw up like (insert another hairball nose) and it was GROSS. Are cats scared of firecracks? (fireworks - it was 4th of July week) Murphy is scared of them...dogs don't LIKE firecracks and fireworks because it hurts their ears and their ears are very SEN-SI-MA-TIVE Mommy. Murphy likes to HIDE during fireworks doesn't he? Like Marley does in 'Bad Dog Marley' when he finds a good hiding space during the thunderstorm! Dogs do NOT like thunderstorms either. Murphy hid in my closet last yesterday (who knows when, a week ago I think) when it was thundering and he was SCARED!!!!"
Me: "... " pretty much speechless.
That is my life, every hour that this child is awake (well, my life and my mom's and my mother in law's, who stay with the girls during the day and probably wish they had hearing aids that they could set to "Molly as background noise" instead of "Molly at full speed jet-engine decibels")
Murphy did one of his bark-at-a-speck-of-air routines the other day, near the front door, and Molly says very exasperatedly "Mommy, why does Murphy have to BARK? Why can't he just say 'pleeeease put me outside??'"
If I had the answer to making dogs talk I would be a rich mommy.
Speaking of talking dogs, and cats, her new movie obsession is the very unfortunate Disney mess called "Oliver & Company," loosely and badly based, sort of, on the Oliver Twist story. It's set in New York City in the late 80s and stars a lot of people who probably wish they could erase this particular animated gem from their IMDB database. Anyway, I hadn't seen it in many years so I sat down to watch it with Molly the other night for the first time. The opening scene shows a very clear shot of the Twin Towers. I commented, more to Dan, "wow, that's sad." and Molly said "What's sad?" I said "those buildings aren't there anymore. They got knocked down by some very bad people." I didn't think she was paying much attention to me, being distracted by singing/dancing animals and all. Last night, though, she was watching this AGAIN for like the 4th time this week and she goes "Look, Mommy, there's those towers that fell down because the bad people were mean and knocked them over." Simple and deep at the same time.
We often still have to remind Molly to go potty, as she would rather playandplayandplayandplayand runaroundlikeamaniacfromthemomentshewakesuptilthemomentshefallsasleepmid-run. The other day I asked her for the 1000th time "Molly, do you need to go potty?" and she stops and looks at me and YELLS "NO I DO NOT HAVE TO GO POTTY!!! I WANT TO WAIT VERY PATIENTLY AND I WILL TELL YOU WHEN IT'S TIME!!!!!!!!!! I AM WAITING PATIENTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She also bellowed at us the other day "WOULD YOU BE QUIET MOMMY!!!! IT IS TOOOOOO LOUD AND I CAN'T HEEEEEEEAR THE TEEEEE VEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" The irony is spectacular.
We are working hard to curb her use of unpleasant sayings -- like, we have had to stop calling the stupid dog "Hey, Stupid Dog"...and we have definitely had to watch our use of telling even Murphy to shut up. Dan explained to her that "shut up is something only DADDIES can say." Which is just freaking great, because if I slip and say it to the dog, she turns into Captain Stoolpigeon and YELLS to Dan "MOMMY SAID SHUT UP!!!" and then chastizes me with "MOMMY! Shutup is only DADDY's word." She reprimands the TV if she hears it on there too. "*tsk* We DON'T say SHUT UP!!!!!" Except for the four thousand times a day that she says it as she reminds us that we aren't allowed to say it.
We have totally been losing the battle to get her to bed before 10 pm lately. We made the mistake of pointing out fireflies and catching them with her, and now she does NOT buy that 9 pm is bedtime because, as she reminded me, "Mommy, I can still see BLUE SKY at 9 o clock. It's not even dark enough for FIREFLIES yet. It is NOT time for bed until I can see the FIREFLIES." Umm....well, I can't really argue with that. You CAN still see blue sky at 9 pm. Dammit. By this logic she will have to put herself to bed at 6:30 in January, right??
She has recently discovered that she LOVES balsamic vinegar after tasting some off of one of my salads. Not only does she regularly eat lettuce now, bathed in vinegar, she also asks "Mommy can I have some more vig-e-ner to put on my _______?" You name it - applesauce, chicken, green beans, bread...it all gets used now as a vehicle to transport the vig-e-ner into her mouth. Weird, weird kid. Doesn't eat mac and cheese or hotdogs or any meat on earth that is not breaded chicken in nugget form, but she will eat salad with balsamic vinegar.
One last one...this was an actual conversation we had last week while I was pushing her on her swingset. I did not prompt any of this with prior questions. I also didn't get a chance to get a word in edgewise for about 20 minutes.
Molly: "Mommy, remember when we were at Uncle Frank's house (the day before) and Ellie the cat threw up? Why she threw up? Remember when Murphy threw up in the fam-blee room and it was GROSS? And it was water, and dog food, and grass...and dogs don't EAT grass,right? because it makes them sick and then they throw up like this (makes gagging noise) and you have to clean it up wif paper towels and it's GROSS. Did Ellie the cat eat grass? She threw up like (insert another hairball nose) and it was GROSS. Are cats scared of firecracks? (fireworks - it was 4th of July week) Murphy is scared of them...dogs don't LIKE firecracks and fireworks because it hurts their ears and their ears are very SEN-SI-MA-TIVE Mommy. Murphy likes to HIDE during fireworks doesn't he? Like Marley does in 'Bad Dog Marley' when he finds a good hiding space during the thunderstorm! Dogs do NOT like thunderstorms either. Murphy hid in my closet last yesterday (who knows when, a week ago I think) when it was thundering and he was SCARED!!!!"
Me: "... " pretty much speechless.
That is my life, every hour that this child is awake (well, my life and my mom's and my mother in law's, who stay with the girls during the day and probably wish they had hearing aids that they could set to "Molly as background noise" instead of "Molly at full speed jet-engine decibels")
